My Story (Part I)
Well, where do I start. Growing up on the planet of Malastare was very tough. I was never one for watching the annual pod races, just seemed too violent. When I was a teenager, I received my first copy of How to Buy Friends and Rule Over People by Exar Kun. I had my own group of followers in the neighborhood, and they would do various sinister deeds for me, steeling rations from the local kids, starting illegal Sabaac tournaments with a "fee" to enter, which was soley collected by ME, of course. My parents were very poor, and appreciated the extra income. My mother was a homemaker, and my father sold landspeeders, and owned a small speeder shop that was slowly going out of business.
There was this one little brat however, that kept bugging the crud out of me from time to time. He thought his cause was just, and that the just shall prevail. His "holier than thou" stuff really got my goat. I won't tell you his real name, it's just too funny to mention. You may know him as Qui-Gon Jinn. He was an annoying little bugger, always telling me "My dad is powerful in the force, and your dad sells broken-down speeders" and la-de-da-de-fargin-da. On how the light side of the Force was the only true power and all of this stuff. This boy was really off his rocker; he was fruitier than a nutcake, so to speak. I'd like to stick some ysalamiri where the sun don't shine on this guy, if you catch my drift. What a goodie-goodie moron! He would try to stop my evil plans, but he would not usually succeed. I didn't care if his uncle knew Yoda, that doesn't impress me. This Force thing was nothing but an excuse for a bunch of Jedi to get together and talk about existential nonsense. I mean, really, the world is about money, power, influence, and ruling the masses. Who cares about a one true force over all living things. Take all of that happy love-your-universe crap and get out of my way, I'm busy
Next time: The first time I kicked Qui-Gon's butt….
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